LAST CHANCE FOR SOCKS

Last night I finished what seemed an impossible task. I got all of the clothes in the apartment clean at the same time. (Other than what we were wearing, of course.) This probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but Phillip and I are both slobs, and we've been working full time and traveling most weekends lately. Inspired as I was by this accomplishment, I decided to do something even more thrilling: tackle the sock drawer.

I had three drawers of socks. Single, un-mated socks. I should have done something years ago about the socks, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it for several reasons. One reason is, of course, I can't always mate the socks because they aren't all clean. Another reason is actually an important flaw in my personality. I don't begin tasks that seem impossible or are unlikely to have the ideal outcome. I'm a perfectionist despite my slovenly ways. If I can't do something right, I often just don't do it. This is true of artistic projects as well. My idea of cleaning up the house is often starting in the back of a closet to reorganize it. Its very self-defeating.

Over the last few years I have tried to change the goals to be more reasonable and achievable. Smaller goals seemed to help, but I was still struggling. Finally, I decided to abandon my goals altogether. Sometime last year, I really started living without goals. Its complete freedom. I have already accomplished so much because I have no expectations for what I should accomplish! I sit down to do some sketches without having to first mentally berate myself because I don't sketch enough. I wash three dishes in the sink because I feel like it at the moment, without being discouraged about the moldy food in the fridge. It isn't perfect yet, but it is an enormous improvement.

So, the socks. I never wanted to face the socks because I knew that so many of them had been with me for so many years yet had no mates, and it was a senseless, sad thing. It was a failure of sorts. I know its a common problem, but I really had a difficult time with it. Last night, I piled all of the clean socks on the bed after looking under the couch, under the bed, in every drawer and corner of our living space. I gave them one shot to find a mate. Then I moved on.